Recently I found myself flipping channels trying to catch something to hold my attention and I came across the movie “Good Will Hunting”. I hadn’t seen the movie in years, but I was quickly reminded about some pretty interesting life lessons while enjoying it again. Advance warning – some of the scenes linked in the post below have explicit language.
Talent alone does not guarantee success
In the movie, the main character, Will (played my Matt Damon), has a natural talent and ability to solve complex mathematical problems with ease. He is extremely intelligent in general. There is a pivotal scene in the movie where he is providing solutions to a top, award-winning Mathematics Professor – solutions to problems that even the Professor hasn’t reached in terms of ability. The scene spoke to me in terms of achieving goals and daily choices. There are those that struggle with certain aspects of life and it is guaranteed that there will be others who find those same aspects of life trivial and something they can navigate with ease. Success is something that is defined by each of us. We may have the talent to reach our goal with ease, or we may have to work really hard to reach it. It’s our daily choices that will show our desire to reach our goals. In the movie, Will had his own definition of what success looked like – and it didn’t involve using the talent that others envied him for having.
Those who truly love you will want the best for you
A good part of the movie has Will spending time with his best friends. The bond between them is real, but those within the group that know Will’s ability and truly love him – wish the best for him, even if it means leaving them behind. They realize that he’s destined for more. A wonderful scene between two friends emphasizes this sentiment.
Sometimes it’s hard for us to act on our desires to move us closer to our goals. There are times when we choose the comfort of our current situation and those closest to us over what could potentially make us the best version of ourselves. Sometimes it’s fear of change, sometimes fear of failure. There are many reasons that come into play when we make our choices – but this was a reminder that there are those within my life that want me to look within myself for the answer and to take the chances to experience life to the fullest.
It’s not easy to leave things behind. Whether it be a physical move that causes us to leave others behind, or an evolution of our being that changes us in a way that no longer aligns with those around us in a way that would enable us to continue to grow / thrive in a healthy manner.
Life is meant to be experienced and shared
The last scene that jumped out at me was the one with Will’s therapist (played by Robin Williams) where he put’s Will’s knowledge in perspective as it relates to life experience. It’s a powerful dialog that reminds me that life experience and our individual perspectives on those experiences are what make us unique and sharing those with the world give us the opportunity to learn something from each other that isn’t written in some “effin” book. 🙂
I forgot just how much I enjoyed it. Or maybe I’m just at a time in my life where I’m open to hearing these lessons in a new light. Do you have a movie that you have watched recently that taught you something you ended up applying to your life? Tell me about it – I’d love to learn from you.
New Year’s Eve and my birthday are the two days that I loath the most throughout the year. These are the days that I become hyper-analytical and reflective about the goals I have set and the progress made toward those goals. It is rare that I spend any amount of time reflecting on the good, I seem to spend the majority of the time and energy beating myself up over the lack of progress. Some reflection is good – and doing in a way that expresses gratefulness for the path, the journey and the progress is best, whereas the way I am doing it during my times on these days in particular – is unhealthy.
While these days are a struggle for me, the passing of them eventually leaves me with an emotionally worn-down, tattered soul that feels like it just survived a battle. I knew the fight was coming, I weathered the storm, and although I’m sore – the sun has risen the next day and there is a newness to it – one that whispers, “stand up”.
The start of a new year brings with it hope that I can write down new goals and do my best to make them reality.
I know in my heart (and my mind) that it is all up to me. Success or failure are destinations that only I define, and the decision to take the journey is one that only I decide.
With this in mind, I am moving forward with keen eye toward a new goal, a passionate desire within my heart to reach it, and a back pocket full of gentle patience – because we all know I’m going to need a ton of that along the way! 🙂
After attending several online meetings related to my binge eating and food addiction, I found myself struggling and had a feeling like something was off. The logical part of me couldn’t come to grips with surrendering that my eating had become out of control – but that it was then OK to eat a meal (of normal portion size) afterward. This statement within the first and second steps made me conflicted and confused. To me, the dots didn’t connect because I didn’t consider myself “in recovery” – so I was attending meetings, trying to accept my situation and give power to *something else* and then eating – with similar bad patterns. For someone with an addiction problem, abstinence is the goal – but with an eating disorder – it must be something different – since not eating isn’t an option. I suppose that it’s all about the balance and moderation, making healthy choices and avoiding the unhealthy activity (in my case – binging). My logical side – the one that had lost the significant weight before knows that there is no easy way around losing weight – it’s a method and one that required great control, persistence, determination and tenacity. The losing weight part isn’t something to me that I can let *something else* be in charge of – it’s something I need to be accountable for in the end. Through some talking – I realized and restated that I do know how to lose the weight. My issue was that when I lost the weight – the happiness I thought would be there – wasn’t. There were still other things that I hadn’t addressed that needed fixing for me to fully embrace and celebrate the change that I had worked so hard to achieve. I needed to find a combination that would offer more than that – and something that felt right for me.
I think it’s important to call out that “right for me” statement above – because this was a very similar feeling and sentiment that I had when I first found the program that I followed to lose over 200 pounds. What I want to highlight is the “feeling” – because if you’re like me – you’ll search and search until you find something that you believe will work. If it *feels* right – that indicates that you’re on the right path to *believing* it will work – which is a huge part of the battle, and one that struck me as too significant not to call out as a similarity from my first journey.
The plan that I have talked myself into is one that allows me to focus on losing the weight I have put back on. Weighing in at nearly 390 pounds has me at a state of desperation to do something that will stop the gaining and move back toward losing. Since I have had success in the past on the ultra-low calorie, low carb, high protein type plans – that is where I’ll return. It is a familiar space for me, a familiar routine, and one that I know over time (with hyper-diligence) will work without fail. I also know that it’s not long-term healthy, nor will it alone bring me to a spot where I magically find “happy”.
For that reason, I am going to continue to work on the emotional and spiritual in parallel. This may be a challenge, as it will be quite a bit to focus on and will most definitely take away from other areas in my life – and may cause me additional stress. From previous posts, you know how I feel about stress, and that I believe it drains from willpower and the effort needed to make new positive choices – rather than default, autopilot ones which may not be as positive. My anxiety is at what I would call an extremely high level right now – I am fearful to leave my house for any reason and avoid it at all cost. The lawn is about two weeks overdue for cutting, but I am not able to bring myself to being in my yard to do it. I would rate my depression at a medium level – I’m open to change and forward progress – which is always good. The daily dark thoughts have moved along for the time being.
I am taking back my power – one choice at a time.
My first official day back on the plan was Monday. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to stick to the eating plan for two full days. I know the journey ahead is long and I’m going to pack my patience with each new day. I’ll be using many of the tools that I’ve posted about previously that help me in the journey, and will hopefully be able to share new ones I find along the way.
I’m a dreamer. I often set goals for myself and take action to do my best to realize these goals. I also suffer from bouts of depression that make it very difficult to feel like it is worth setting any goals let alone finding the energy to work toward accomplishing anything. As I type this blog post, I have just returned from a counselling session where it was clear that my energy and mood is at a low. Although this is not the best time for me to write out my thoughts – I had set the goal of publishing this post today and I’m going to push through and do it, because I feel that it is worth the effort for me to share my experiences in hope that you will relate or be able to take something from them. So – let’s dive in…
I believe that if you’re going to dream – why not dream big?!? Dreaming big to me is all about thinking on an idea and then growing that idea until it is just large enough to make me feel like I’m stretching the ability of what I can accomplish to the limit – and then I’ll think on it more and wonder what else is possible. I realize that statement is a bit vague – so I want to give you a real world example from my life experience.
In August 2016, I started walking in nature as an experiment to find the tie between our body and the natural environment. There have been many studies that show that spending time in nature is good for the body, the spirit and the mind. I had stumbled across a post about the David Suzuki 30×30 Nature Challenge – a challenge to spend 30 minutes a day for 30 days in nature. I thought – “why not?” and decided to give it a try.
On my first day out in the park I visited I noticed some beautiful flowers and a large observation deck that seemed quite interesting to me – so I took a picture of each. The next day, I noticed a few more interesting things and so I took pictures of those. I shared them on Facebook and by the third day I was finding things that were really beautiful (to me) that I hadn’t noticed previously. I started to feel an urge to want to share this experience and the excitement I was having with others. I had the idea of taking at least a picture a day for the 30 days that I would be out in nature and sharing them in some way with people. This is a pretty simple idea, but I thought on it a bit and thought – “what about if I created something that contained the pictures that could be shared?”. I immediately had the often present, negative voice in my head say “why?”, and “how are you going to do that?”. I held those thoughts at bay while I decided to start small – I would look to see if I had any software at my disposal that could help me with this simple project and it turned out that I did. So, I ignored the negative voice and pressed forward one small step at a time – I collected the photos each day and after 15 days of being in nature – I created and shared the item below.
I received some nice feedback about the pictures and the format. It motivated me to think on the original idea more. Each day I continued to spend in nature – I allowed myself to dream up bigger plans for sharing the beauty of this park with others. I was also collecting quite a bit more photographs to choose from, so my next “dream big” idea was selecting a subset of all of the ones taken in the 30 days and choose my 30 favorite. As weeks passed – it turned out that I had taken so many pictures that I changed the idea (grew it bigger) into 50 favorites – and I had decided stick with the “moments” theme and decided that however I shared them – I would call them “50 Moments”.
As I started to think about picking the 50 favorite photos to share – I “dreamed” bigger and thought – “what about if I found a way to frame some of the nicer photos?”. Again – my negative voice came into play – but I allowed myself the time to think on it and started small – I took a couple of my favorite shots to the local Walmart and was able to print them in a larger format 8×10 and picked up a couple frames. I hung these as inspiration for me while I continued to sort through the collection of photos, choosing the 50 that would be shared.
It was around this time that I had seen an ad for a local market that was happening at the Visitor Centre in town. This building also doubles as the “arts” centre – and displays local artists work each month. By now – you know where my mind went – “hmm. I wonder if I could put a few of my photos on display here?”. I’ve learned that it never hurts to ask – so I did just that. I collected the artist submission information and I filled out an application to have a part of a table at an upcoming exhibition dedicated to the work that would come out of the “50 Moments” idea. To my surprise – my application was approved and I had secured a spot. Within two weeks of that notification – I received another email letting me know that the other artist that was doing the full exhibition where my photos would be featured wasn’t going to be able to do it – so I was offered the full exhibition space for the month of March 2017.
Most people would have been scared to death at the thought of doing a full photo exhibition – I know that I was… but I gave myself permission to think on the idea and to dream big. What an opportunity this could be – I’ve never done a photo exhibition – heck I hadn’t really done too much in the way of framing my photos – but since I had just challenged myself and done that – “why not?” try this and do the best I can – one small step at a time.
It was October 2016 and I knew that I had several months to prepare for the exhibition – so I started small. I finished selecting my 50 favorite photos. I decided to work on taking my absolute favorite top ten and framing them as large 11×14 prints. By this time I was also starting to get better at manipulating and preparing the photos for print. I was learning new things along the way.
I knew I would need a lot more than just this to fill a full exhibition – so I started dreaming again – and I thought about the idea of creating a photo book with the 50 photos and perhaps some postcards of the top ten that people coming to the exhibition to look at and take as a souvenir. I let my mind roam again and thought about creating some additional content, a pamphlet, that talked about the other benefits I experienced while spending time out in nature. I started small – with things that I had access to – and where I didn’t have access – I looked for resources close to me that might allow me to use resources – like the local library. I was diligent in the think big, start small steps along the way and in February 2017 I self-published my photo book “50 Moments in August”. In March – I was able to fill a small room with a variety of framed photos, postcard photos, large format framed photos, information pamphlets, flyers and even a 3 x 4 foot canvas print of one of the photos. The exhibit was so well received that I was invited to submit another application for a future project.
If I were to stop here – I think you would agree that the story illustrates how a simple idea (taking a picture and sharing it for the enjoyment of others) can grow if you allow your mind to dream big. Here are just a few more things that came out of this idea as I continue to allow it to grow.
The exhibition was seen by a few people – one of them a local librarian – who asked me to be the featured artist in the month of August 2017.
I was invited to speak at the library and put together a full PowerPoint presentation filled with research that tie together the benefits of nature with the inspiration to create. People showed up and engaged in conversation with me for almost an hour. This was way outside of my comfort zone – but an amazing experience.
I launched a project for those participating in the 30×30 Nature Challenge to extend their experience and to create something to be shared with others. The project is called “50 Moments Creative Challenge”
The exhibition was seen by an artist group that led me to create a contact with another non-local artist group that was advertising and looking for stories about nature – I submitted a story and was published in their online magazine.
This is just one example of many that I have – and trust me when I say that I know that it’s not easy to fight through life’s struggles to set goals. For me – it comes in waves – there are days when the smallest step forward is going to consume all of my energy. There are others when I’m able to make progress and feel like I’m getting somewhere. Also – I hesitated to share photos / links – but I forced myself to as I think it adds a level of authenticity to let you know that I’m not making it up, but please know – I’m not trying to sell you anything.
This is what I hope you’ll take from this post –
Be Naive and Curious – Ask questions, Instead of “why” – think “why not?”
Don’t wait for someone (or worse yet – ourselves) to tell you that you can’t do something. I beg to differ – I think you can do anything you feel is worthy of doing. Explore – just because I hadn’t framed pictures I didn’t let that stop me from dreaming up the thought and belief that I could do a photo exhibit.
Be Authentic and Courageous – if you want something ask for it.
You’d be surprised how many people are happy to help you reach your goal. There are many people that have talent / knowledge that you might not know about that could help you in reaching your goal – but they can’t if you aren’t brave enough to let others know about it. This includes me – if you’re thinking of doing some project, dream or goal – let me know about it – I’m interested in your journey and how I can be supportive of it.
Be Generous and Compassionate – Work hard to Give More than you Get
It’s a cycle – if you are fortunate enough to receive – work hard to pass something on to the next person that you can help. By doing so, you’ll end up receiving more than you could imagine.
Here’s what I’m taking from pushing myself to create this post –
Even though I’m in a low spot in terms of mood and energy – I’m pushing forward with one small step at a time and I’m going to do my best to keep dreaming big.
I honestly feel that it is important for everyone chasing a goal to visualize and believe that the goal is attainable. There are many things that may get in the way of you accepting the achievement of the goal as it gets closer – but today I want to talk about things that I found helped me in the morning to start my day off right. Early Choices are Good Choices When I wake up in the morning – my willpower is at its peak! I find this is the best time to make decisions that help put me on the “winning” way for the day and start the momentum off on a good foot. I was inspired by this post that talks about 10 great life lessons and the first one says that if you “want to change the world, start by making your bed”. I’ll be honest, I have never been a “bed-making” person. I always felt that I had better things to do – after all – there was a day waiting to be started and breakfast waiting to be eaten! So – I decided to implement this change for myself mainly because it resonated with me. If I did want to change things about myself, perhaps the easiest way to start was by doing something small. It didn’t take long and I was getting into the habit of waking each morning, using the restroom and upon my return to my room would immediately weigh myself and then proceed to make my bed. The satisfaction of knowing that you have one thing “done” and that you’ve made a decision that is small, but positive, is a great feeling. This is a feeling that can be a nice foundation to build the rest of the day on… Daily Affirmations Telling myself that I believed in my goal each day is one of the most important ways for me to start my day off right. Each morning I restate my commitment to my goal. In my case, I would restate my commitment to the program I was on, and would tell myself that I knew that there would be good times and bad times – that this was a journey that I was in for the long haul. I would say my daily affirmations while making my bed, after weighing in. Doing this forced me to state my commitment to my goal – even if I had a bad weigh in, and as well – start my day in a positive way. I learned that I needed to not only be surrounded by a strong support system of people that believed in me and were rooting me on – but that I had to find ways to believe in myself each and every morning. In case you’re wondering – yes, I still do this same routine every day, and I commit to my new goals and to myself. This is just one of the many “Daily Choices” that I make as soon as the day starts, so that I set myself up for success. Later this week, I’m going to post audio content of my daily affirmations. Maybe you can use them or create ones of your own that you’ll listen to each morning to help get you “in the zone” for the day. Is this something you could see yourself adopting and incorporating into your morning routine?
The daily affirmation is a great way to add something new to your day and to test your level of commitment. It doesn’t take a lot of time, but if you’re able to do this for a day, commit to two days. If you hit two days in a row – commit to a week. If you are able to do it for a week, commit to keeping it up for two weeks. When you’ve done it for two weeks straight – realize that you’re halfway to having done this new, healthy commitment to yourself for a month. Let this drive you through to complete 30 days. At this point, you will have moved this action into a habit and when if you miss a day – it will feel weird.
I’ve found that once I can make the “good choice” my default choice / habit – I find it much easier to continue to make the good choice. The more good choices I make through the day – the more I desire to choose things that move me closer to my goal.